


i’ll be your light, i’ll make this feel like home

by NyikoDoris



Category: Euphoria (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Buckle up motherfuckers, Character Development, Eventual Fluff, Heavy Angst, I'm Sorry, I'm concerned for them lol, I'm lazy lmao, I'm mean to her in the beginning, I'm mixing up timelines, Not Canon Compliant, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, but its gonna hurt first, disaster teenagers, join us, lexi pov, like wow, please be patient, rue pov, sexuality is a spectrum children, the attention lexi deserves, the story lexi deserves, we have gays and lesbians and bis over here, we have rainbow cookies too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-18 21:49:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22000396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NyikoDoris/pseuds/NyikoDoris
Summary: lexi howard has always known two things with absolute certainty;one, her mom will always see her as a disappointment for not being like the rest of her family;and two, that almost everyone who matters to her in east highland sees her as dispensable and unimportant, most especially (and painfully) the girl she loves.so maybe a change she’s been dreading might be just what she needs to help with her completely debilitating inferiority complex and uncontrollable gay panic.
Relationships: Cassie Howard & Lexi Howard, Cassie Howard & Suze Howard, Cassie Howard/Maddy Perez, Gia Bennett & Lexi Howard, Gia Bennett & Rue Bennett, Leslie Bennett & Lexi Howard, Leslie Bennett & Rue Bennett, Lexi Howard & BB, Lexi Howard & Suze Howard, More to be added - Relationship, Nate Jacobs/Maddy Perez, Rue Bennett & Cassie Howard, Rue Bennett & Fezco, Rue Bennett & Lexi Howard, Rue Bennett/Jules Vaughn, Rue Bennett/Lexi Howard, slightly antagonistic, suze means well okay
Comments: 3
Kudos: 34





	i’ll be your light, i’ll make this feel like home

**Author's Note:**

> welp, I'm trying childgays.
> 
> this is not following canon...religiously.

**PROLOGUE**

**the day before school starts.**

”lexi, bring me another glass of wine will you?” suze howard shouts from the den at her youngest daughter who was getting a bottle of water for herself.

sighing, the teenager opens the fridge once again to pour her mother her fourth, or is it fifth? glass of the alcoholic drink.

she hands her mother said glass, with a quiet ”here you go mom,” and starts to walk toward the stairs to head up to her room.

the older howard, however, calls out; ”wait, i heard your sister talk about a party later tonight. let me guess, you’re not going?”

barely stopping lexi responds;

”no mom.”

right before she gets out of earshot, she hears her mom say; 

”god, you’re so fucking boring alexandra.”

_ ’yeah, i heard you the first 500 times’ _ the most responsible person in the house thinks to herself.

”lex which do you think i should wear?” cassie asks her little sister as soon as she enters their shared bedroom.

she holds up two outfits for the brunette to see.

”hmm, i don’t know cass. are you sure you want to ask me for fashion advice?” comes the concerned reply, ”I’m not exactly a fashionista.”

cassie lets out a frustrated sigh at her sisters response;

”yeah we don’t dress the same. i’m more into showing some skin and you might dress like a deeply conservative republicans daughter-” ”hey-” ”BUT you also know what looks good on me. i really wanna impress mckay.” the blonde continues like lexi hadn’t said a thing.

at the youngers silence cassie decides to pull out the big guns:

her best blue puppy eyes and fuck if it doesn’t work because lexi folds faster than anyone who plays poker against her. 

over exaggerating the groan she lets out, lexi looks over the outfits with a critical eye. 

“definitely the blue. it makes your eyes look even more beautiful than usual.”

clearly that was the right thing to say because next thing she knows the blonde gives a squeal and then she’s being hugged so tightly she questions her sisters upper body strength.

“thank you lex!” cassie exclaims, her excitement not even concealed. 

giving her a squeeze back and a “you’re welcome”, lexi offers a small smile;

“now go get showered, cass.” pushing her sister off of her and shooing her toward their shared bathroom.

the rest of her evening is just the usual;

cassie leaves with maddy,

lexi cooks, 

goes through social media,

practices piano,

oh and her oldest friend who od'd three months ago shows up at her front door, asking for lexi to  _ piss in a bottle because why the fuck not? _

the same friend she knew was back home from rehab only because her younger sister texted her;

the same friend she doesn’t know how to help because rue only asks for her pee when she needs to do an emergency drug test  _ she knows she’ll fail. _

with a distracted and half hearted “thank you” thrown her way, lexi watches rue leave her once again, her heart breaking because she cannot seem to keep this person she loves **_so damn much_** in the light. lexi cannot keep rue sober and happy and at peace and that **_absolutely kills_** her because she knows it’ll one day kill the oldest bennett daughter and that will, in turn, **_utterly_** **_destroy lexi._**

_ ‘wonderful,’ _ alexandra thinks to herself as she changes into her pajamas, preparing to read a little before turning in for the night,  _ ‘the usual. another party and drug filled year coming to east highland.’  _

_ not knowing that this year will be anything but usual for east highland and most especially for her. _

_ not knowing her life is about to change in ways she never imagined. _

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed this little chapter. I'm preparing you for the wild ride I'm planning for this to become so please be patient with me? please?
> 
> (i also don't enjoy hurting these children but plot)


End file.
